Got Excitement to Spare?

Then join the Panthers “Energy Team”! YEEEEEEAH!!!

What precisely does that mean?

I have no freaking clue. I'd heard rumors of these “energy teams” cropping up around the league, but as to their purpose, I can't seem to fathom what the reason may be.

Is it a cheerleading squad? That's the only parallel I can form.

This is something we obviously need, since, as one poster to the message board on the link above stated, the presence of Stanley C. Panther, Mini-Stanley (don't ask), the Ice Dancers (sponsored by Waste Management or Planned Parenthood or whatever), T-shirt tosses, shell games, noise-o-meters (please retire this ancient insult now), and interior elevator shafts with car ads are simply not enough to keep our $8-per-beer-addled-minds on topic. To name just a few of the sights and sounds at the BAC.

What does an “Energy Team” (male and female members, mind you) do that the Ice Dancers (sponsored by Waste Management or Planned Parenthood or whatever) don't already do?

Perhaps leap from the rafters into the stands with wide smiles, fireworks and streamers, while real-live food-deprived Florida panthers are released to the ice, hunting down rabbits strewn from the penalty box when the Cats are four goals down in the third after an injury to Horton on a Wednesday night in January vs. Atlanta? Come to think of it, that just might pump the remaining few in the building.

I know I'd watch just for the rabbit outcome.

Whether this focus-group endeavor lasts is up in the air. I'll certainly give it a chance, since we haven't even yet seen it (them?). Will it be the Next Big Thing?

Or a modernization of D-Battery Night at Shea?

Stay tuned.