"Your minor-league Thrasher uniforms offend my sense of style and color coordination. ATLANTA on the sleeve...nice touch! Perhaps you should look to the midwest for fashion hints. I shall pirouette around you while creating open ice for Horts; silently giggling to myself at your silliness. Hossa, indeed!"
Cory Murphy, #21, Defense
Left with no options on "D", Murph drills Mathieu Dandenault into the plexi. Asked later why he chose to employ such an excessive use of violence, his answer was simple: "Spells his name funny. Punk.".
Blind to the offensive-defenseman's one power play goal on the season, a budding entrepreneur prepares for another hopeful yet ignorant listing on eBay.