Does Spilled Beer Quell the Spectre of Bettman?

Sadly, no.

Alas, those many years ago at the soon-to-fall Miami Arena I indeed bumped into the Field Marshall himself on a stairway leading to my seats during the first-ever homegame for the expansion Florida Panthers, attempting to fend off a scrappy band of recent Stanley Cup champions in the guise of the mighty Penguins from Pittsburgh.

Unfortunately, the Baby Cats fell to the Pens, but I departed the building that evening feeling pretty shallow for having dumped the hefty sum of $16 (four beers...in 1993!) on Herr Bettman's well-pressed Fifth Avenue suit during the commish's Great Sunbelt Experiment, South Florida, Day One. I hope ESPN had a hairdryer on staff...this was well before The Mullett's arrival.

Of course, April of 1997 hit several years down the road and I never looked back. The Whale hightailed it out of Hartford under his watch - some would say due to his watch - and suddenly I felt severely shortchanged on that original $16.

In any case, that's my GB story. For those not following the human drama that is "Gary Bettman - Portraits in Heroism", you're missing out.

Greg Wyshynski - the Puck Daddy himself - commisioned what has morphed into a truly epic contest, featuring everyone's favorite reality-splicer: PhotoShop.

Head over to the gallery of what can only be described as - and I'm paraphrasing that cinematic colossus The Cannonball Run - the hockey equivilent of the Bay of Pigs.

The idea? Anything goes. And it does. Absolute gold.

What If?

The insanely brilliant website Icethetics (formerly Tournament of Hockey Logos) regularly features fan-designed reboots - some rather outstanding - of all NHL logos/unis/colors, as well as those of many of the minor leagues. I've been a regular visitor for over a year; last summer saw the site skyrocket in popularity with it's daily updates, spy photos, and countdowns to the unveiling of each National League team's unveiling of their respective entry into the somewhat controversial Reebok RBK Uniform System or whatever it was called at the time before the term "cash grab" astutely summed up the entire mess. For those unfamiliar, it's worth a visit for many, many reasons, the least of which is a weekly item perfectly dubbed "Freak-you-out Friday". You'll have to see it to believe it. And bring blinders. Only the color-blind need apply.

Just an FYI to those who may not have been exposed to this wonderful website. I'm too new to this whole dedicated blogsite thing to be displaying the artwork, and posting someone else's efforts without their permission is a bit tasteless at this juncture, so I'll leave the potential copyright infringement arguments for another day.

But for Florida purists, and I can't stress too strongly how good some of these designs are, simply click here and behold the glories of what may have been...or may yet be.

You listening, Yormark?